I just heard about your blog, Karen: marvelous! Thanks for writing about your Mom, very moving. And relevant for me at this time. Sending a big hug! becky
Thank you so much Becky! I’m so glad to see you here! And I’d love to connect more with you. I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with something similar. Sending you big hugs too.
Thank you, Karen, for sharing your perspective. Writing about "the body" can feel so politicized. I appreciate your calm, thoughtful, personal tone very much.
Would love to read some non-snarky comments about Bezos fiancée Lauren Sanchez. She’s got boobs she shows to everyone, lots of apparent cosmetic changes to her face (just look at her earlier photos), and she’s apparently well-liked by her peers, has a good relationship with her baby daddy ex and grown son, flies helicopters & yet is presented as a bimbo, lightweight. A conundrum. More interesting than Melania, but also billionaire-adjacent, or she’d be unknown.
Karen--Tom Williams here. As for dentists and botox/vanity--ever hear of "smile design?"--a huge profit center for dentists. I'm excited to read your thoughts about the conundrum of female self-worth/societal value/impossible standards of beauty. It seems those standards, as unreachable as they are, might stand in for the goal of capitalism to keep us wanting more. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder but in the targets of hedge funds? That's a reach. BTW you are looking very "familiar"--as in youthful, or strongly resembling what I remember of your appearance in your twenties. I also remember you fondly for our work together. Been thinking some about appearance lately, as in the appearance of competence v. reality. Not quite what you are up to here, perhaps. Or maybe "beauty" in this culture represents a kind of generalized competence. don't know. About aging I know more about. It's a process of slow subtraction--except when it's fast! Look forward to reading from you.
Tom, it is so good to see your name and hear from you! As I just said to Jeanette, the two of you were such important mentors to me---I remember how you rescued my struggling 9th grade English class that first year!---and I remember the times with you both so fondly. I remember that you organized a writing group for the English teachers and it was the first time that I wrote in a non-academic way. I wrote something about my friend who was anorexic, so there's an interesting through line in my focus on beauty/body standards that wasn't apparent to me for a while. Anyway, thank you for your great comments. I'll definitely look more into smile design. I've looked at some publications for cosmetic dentists and it's fascinating (in a scary way) how they are selling certain facial aesthetics and also "confidence"/psychological well-being. And yes yes yes about capitalism! The constant feeding of the idea that there is something wrong with you that you didn't even realize and that you need to be alert to and fix with various products. I'm interested in what you say about the appearance of competence vs. the reality---would love to hear more about that. Thank you so much for following the Substack---it's been fun for me so far to write in this different platform.
Yes Karen❣️ Saw your Substack Vain Feminist and thought how much I enjoyed working with you xxxx years ago. We’re in Portland, OR now and I hope we can have a correspondence and a catch up on life’s adventures.
Hello Jeanette! I was so happy to see your name and also Tom's pop up in Substack. It's wonderful to hear from you. I'd love to keep in touch, and that's great to hear that you're in Portland, OR. You and Tom were both such important mentors to me in those first difficult years of teaching, and I remember those times with you so fondly. Thank you for following Vain Feminist!
I was just thinking how much more acceptable, common, and mundane Botox treatments have become. Enjoyed reading and look forward to following along. #craggyembrace
Even as a male … with my expanding turkey neck, rapidly appearing age spots, and darkening circles under my eyes … I am leaning in on whatever it is you have to say …
OMG don't even get me started on "turkey neck" and the self-flagellation i'm engaging in over inadequately moisturizing in my 20s and 30s. much as i want to ignore the visual reminders of aging, or to see them as evidence of a life well lived, i end up feeling self-conscious and finding ways to hide my neck!
Hilarious! We watch British mysteries. Wrinkles and bad teeth as far as the eye can see!
Haha, thank you Lara!
This feels so relevant, balancing what I think I want to feel about my body and what I believe others are encouraging me to feel.
Can totally relate! Looking forward to reading.
This sounds so great! Can't wait to read what you have to say.
I just heard about your blog, Karen: marvelous! Thanks for writing about your Mom, very moving. And relevant for me at this time. Sending a big hug! becky
Thank you so much Becky! I’m so glad to see you here! And I’d love to connect more with you. I’m sorry to hear that you are dealing with something similar. Sending you big hugs too.
Thank you, Karen, for sharing your perspective. Writing about "the body" can feel so politicized. I appreciate your calm, thoughtful, personal tone very much.
Arthur
Thank you Arthur, and thank you for subscribing! It’s great to find you on Substack.
Would love to read some non-snarky comments about Bezos fiancée Lauren Sanchez. She’s got boobs she shows to everyone, lots of apparent cosmetic changes to her face (just look at her earlier photos), and she’s apparently well-liked by her peers, has a good relationship with her baby daddy ex and grown son, flies helicopters & yet is presented as a bimbo, lightweight. A conundrum. More interesting than Melania, but also billionaire-adjacent, or she’d be unknown.
Interesting—I don’t know about Lauren Sanchez but I’d like to look her up. Thanks for the suggestion!
Karen--Tom Williams here. As for dentists and botox/vanity--ever hear of "smile design?"--a huge profit center for dentists. I'm excited to read your thoughts about the conundrum of female self-worth/societal value/impossible standards of beauty. It seems those standards, as unreachable as they are, might stand in for the goal of capitalism to keep us wanting more. Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder but in the targets of hedge funds? That's a reach. BTW you are looking very "familiar"--as in youthful, or strongly resembling what I remember of your appearance in your twenties. I also remember you fondly for our work together. Been thinking some about appearance lately, as in the appearance of competence v. reality. Not quite what you are up to here, perhaps. Or maybe "beauty" in this culture represents a kind of generalized competence. don't know. About aging I know more about. It's a process of slow subtraction--except when it's fast! Look forward to reading from you.
Tom, it is so good to see your name and hear from you! As I just said to Jeanette, the two of you were such important mentors to me---I remember how you rescued my struggling 9th grade English class that first year!---and I remember the times with you both so fondly. I remember that you organized a writing group for the English teachers and it was the first time that I wrote in a non-academic way. I wrote something about my friend who was anorexic, so there's an interesting through line in my focus on beauty/body standards that wasn't apparent to me for a while. Anyway, thank you for your great comments. I'll definitely look more into smile design. I've looked at some publications for cosmetic dentists and it's fascinating (in a scary way) how they are selling certain facial aesthetics and also "confidence"/psychological well-being. And yes yes yes about capitalism! The constant feeding of the idea that there is something wrong with you that you didn't even realize and that you need to be alert to and fix with various products. I'm interested in what you say about the appearance of competence vs. the reality---would love to hear more about that. Thank you so much for following the Substack---it's been fun for me so far to write in this different platform.
Yes Karen❣️ Saw your Substack Vain Feminist and thought how much I enjoyed working with you xxxx years ago. We’re in Portland, OR now and I hope we can have a correspondence and a catch up on life’s adventures.
Hello Jeanette! I was so happy to see your name and also Tom's pop up in Substack. It's wonderful to hear from you. I'd love to keep in touch, and that's great to hear that you're in Portland, OR. You and Tom were both such important mentors to me in those first difficult years of teaching, and I remember those times with you so fondly. Thank you for following Vain Feminist!
I was just thinking how much more acceptable, common, and mundane Botox treatments have become. Enjoyed reading and look forward to following along. #craggyembrace
Thank you so much Elaine!!
Can’t wait to read your insights and words. And discuss them with the men in my life!! Haha.
Thank you so much for subscribing Amanda!
SO excited about this Karen - can't wait to read and learn from your insights!!
Even as a male … with my expanding turkey neck, rapidly appearing age spots, and darkening circles under my eyes … I am leaning in on whatever it is you have to say …
I’m so glad, Mitch! And I want to explore men’s relationship to aging and image too, so I look forward to more conversation!
OMG don't even get me started on "turkey neck" and the self-flagellation i'm engaging in over inadequately moisturizing in my 20s and 30s. much as i want to ignore the visual reminders of aging, or to see them as evidence of a life well lived, i end up feeling self-conscious and finding ways to hide my neck!
Karen, love the bit about dentists offering botox; didn’t know about that! Looking forward to more.
I can’t wait to keep reading ! I love this !